i don't know what to say. i hate my family to the core. why do they keep picking on me? my aunts and uncles wanna disown me. well go ahead. if you wanna settle problems like this. you hate my parents so you wanna hate me then go ahead. its not like you have been like a real family to me anyway. you don't even visit or go out or invite us to your house. all you do is quarrel and fight. i've had enough. before you all start saying "what kind of niece i have" i'll just make it clear that once i get a chance to move out of this damn house, i'll live on my own with no phone.
i don't wanna be part of this fucking family. you wanna talk to my dad contact him. why do i have to be the midddle-man and answer your calls to my phone. you ask me why i don't call you. but everytime i do, you say you're busy. like as if i'm not. then you say "what kind of niece i have" why suddenly everyone wants to act so "family" to me?
then my father starts calling me a coward and scolding me vulgarities. fine i admit it i am a coward thats why i reckon that one fine day i'll turn to suicide. then my grandma and 2 aunts start unloading bad stuff about my dad to me. then my mum and dad starts to do the same. CAN'T YOU FUCKERS UNDERSTAND THAT I'M TORN. NOW I DON'T WANNA HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOU!
all of you are just driving me up the wall. i used to think you were different. but this morning you broke my heart, my trust. i don't know why i was even born in this world to face fuckers like all of you. i wanna be an orphan. uncle samson, you should've never died. look whats happening. the idiots are going after me and your daughter!! maybe i should be like my cousin, just run away. forget these fuckers.
i've come to the conclusion that nobody wants me. so just get lost. i don't understand why i still bother to spend every night crying and yearning for your love.
sorry for the bad language. i'm just not good at expressing myself. well, on a lighter note, i went to Sri Lankaramaya Buddhist Temple at st michael's on friday for Vesak Day celebrations after choir practice from 9am to 3pm. cool to see the actual relics of the Lord Buddha. the
Buddha's actual bones. its just amazing. i wish my parents sent me to sunday school frequently. i wanna learn more and play the drums!! saw many of my relatives at the temple. auntie diana, uncle jerry, uncle jonah and the rest. hmm. i wonder why i never saw mrs madhuwela. she's probably busy helping the Monks. then i saw cousin clayton. like after 12 years? he can speak thai better than his english! and he's way taller than me. haha. oh well. i hope my family can stop quarrelling. i wanna keep in touch with my cousins. ok i'm done with this super long post. maybe i'll update again later. :P
