what's becoming of the world? why's everyone changing so suddenly. i don't know what to feel at this point of time. cca's becoming really annoying and scary. alot of people are literally going crazy. it's no joke. today during cca, someone pounced on me and was forcing me to tell her something. it was so traumatizing. i swear she seemed possessed or something. it really freaked me out and this incident combined with other incidents and the mental state of the whole choir is scaring me. i wanna quit!!! =( i don't know if i should mask my emotions or let them show. i don't even know my emotions. everyone's putting up a facade and when they break down, it's so obvious and i sort of feel guilty yet i know i shouldn't be coz the damn award is just something damn materialistic but yet it represents all the hard work and sacrifice that our leaders and ourselves put in. sometimes i feel that we deserved the silver at other times i think we don't. the strength of the choir depends on its weakest member- there's some truth to this statement afterall.
i don't know how to feel. during college day rehersal today, people were obviously breaking down. our student conductors weren't bothered to conduct us and we never sang the song so off key and lifelessly before. i couldnt bring myself to sing. it's all too weird and different. we used to be one of the best and now we've fallen to almost nothing. plus while waiting for our turn in the audi and watching the other gold/gold with honours performing arts groups performing, some of the comittee were crying and getting so emo. it's killing me. yet at other times i feel like slapping them, telling them to get over it already. the worst part's that everyone is acting so fake to one another and people who didn't get through syf auditions are feeling left out and some have gone seriously mental. i don't feel like ever attending cca again. some people are being so bitchy and annoying too. he is probably experiencing "post syf syndrome" now, pms-ing and nagging again. my juniors offered him pink panadol. and he didn't even know what it is. omg! wth! hahahahahaha!!! =P
